Part 14

Witness the majestic sewer snake here in its natural element. That's what adventuring is all about, travelling to exotic locales to witness the beauty of the indigenous creatures and humiliating them in hilariously one-sided combat

Awww, he's almost too adorable to kill. Note the "almost", because I did end up killing him, and brutally. Mostly it was Farley though, that guy's crazy!

Curses, I was looking for the sewers above Stonekeep. Well I'm here now so perhaps it's best to make the best of it

Ruh Roh! Seems our hero has run afoul of the dreaded shallow water toe stubber! What nefarious villainy has led to this ingenious trap?

Turns out it's just the vital sewer control cylinder that we are currently questing for. One of a kind, this cylinder is. Except that there are two of them. And it's pretty much unremarkable in every way and easily recreatable with a little mechanical smarts. Too bad my skills are entirely of the "fisticuffs followed by a flurry of rocks to the face" variety. Good thing there's nothing else lurking out of sight beneath the surface of the water waiting to cause me injury

Damnable blob, must you contradict everything I say!

That's right blob, leak your toxic blood into the drinking supply! It worked out flawlessy for the tank commander in The Beast, and I'm at least as smart as him

Maybe that's where the "Drain Control Station" comes in. Who's the mechanically inclined one now, Beardface?

I'll humour him for now, but really I couldn't care less. Couldn't care less? Could care less? Wait, which is it? I'm sure I hear people say "could care less" more often but that can't be right...I'll have to make note of this in my magic diary for future investigation. Maybe Farley will have wrapped up his spiel by the time I drift back in

Pretty reasonable, so far as explanations. Too bad your "keen dwarven senses" weren't tingling away when you got conked from behind while investigating the mystery of the flour bag. I'm just kidding man, "Keen Dwarven Senses" is a fucking awesome line, think I'll add it to the pickup line warchest

Oh yeah, insert that cylinder A into slot B! Seven guesses what my left hand's doing

Which brings us into the newly opened section of the sewers. So far this place has been easier than a cakewalk, which is something of a misnomer because I find it ridiculously hard to win anything at a cake walk other than shitty, stale, ass-tasting coffee cake. All that cut-throat walking for nothing!

While I've got my diary ope, might as well check how I'm doing. Oooh, check out those stats. Pretty soon I'll be as big a beefcake boy as those guys in the Playboy videos who keep their pants on and stand their while naked ladies squirm around in their general vicinity. Hottest holdover from the 1950s ever. Enough staring longingly into my immaculately drawn eyes, time to sally forth

What manner of cowardice is this! I demand that you show yourself, you tiny sharga bastard!

I wonder if this is what happens when you drink the same water that blobs, snakes, Wakua, and other sharga spend all day shitting (and worse) in. On second thoughts maybe you'd prefer to stand-down large monster, lest I have to send in my dwarf to kill you (or at least maim your kness)